My Opening Disclaimers

While I consider this a mental health blog, I must be clear— I offer no advice, no lessons learnt, no proposed solutions.  This is my space to give the world a window into my head, to move past the generalities of describing mental illness, the generic oft-repeated statements of how the depths of depression are more than sadness.  I will not expose myths, describe symptoms, or espouse the importance of self-care.  Those topics are well-covered elsewhere.   

I open these thoughts to the public, trying to reach those who are isolated, whose dark thoughts they don’t dare share and confide into anyone, but who may feel comforted by their ability to relate to and understand mine.  

I would like to offer to others insight.  And I can only hope that with greater insight, others can be more understanding, empathetic, and supportive. 

I have been encouraged that the time has come, for those suffering from mental illness, to too step out of the closet, to be visible and heard, and to break the stigma.  But I choose to leave this blog anonymous, because I am still not ready for that.  If you know my true identity, I’d appreciate it if you respect and maintain my anonymity.    

I chose the word Madness, which the Oxford Dictionary defines as, “the state of having a serious mental illness.” It’s an outdated term, often seen in literature, perhaps to reference outrageous or compulsive behavior in a person that others cannot identify with or understand.  You may find my madness muted, as I do not suffer from psychosis or “traditional” mania.  But I nevertheless found it fitting for my purposes. 

My topics will vary from self-harm, suicide, workplace bullying, what’s in a diagnosis, medication, being single, navigating a broken health care system in the U.S., making sense of life and struggling to find meaning.  Some entries are/will be long, others short.  Images will be sparse, and may include my own artwork. 

To anyone who takes the time or is genuinely interested to read my written word, I enormously appreciate it.  If you react to it, and want to let me know privately, do email me saphayoo@gmail.com. Comments are welcome, but I will moderate before I allow them to be posted, to ensure the site stays a protected space.