I drink with my morning coffee with MILK & SUGAR,
I prefer Swiss Miss hot chocolate and brownies from a box like Betty Crocker to any fancy single serving $5 variety at a café or bakery,
I like listening to radio stations with hosts that play popular music and have never once listened to anything on NPR,
I usually would rather use bar soap than shower gel,
I might watch critically acclaimed television shows, but thoroughly enjoy a dramatic soap opera any day esp. with teenagers,
I’ve been doing yoga for almost 15 years but have not once come close to a headstand,
I often struggle to commit the names of important politicians to memory and keep meaning to intentionally practice at home,
I’m too chicken shit to chop off all my hair and try something new like a pixie cut,
I didn’t like learning salsa dancing even though I love dancing and the music,
most Italian and French food do nothing for me,
I’ve never in my whole life liked pizza,
I am not afraid to die,
I type the most ridiculous personal questions into the google search box,
I get angry when I wear make up and don’t see anyone I’d want to flirt with that I wasted all that time and expense,
I’ve never figured out how to tie my shoelaces so they don’t come undone,
I like sitting directly in the sand at the beach and getting my whole body covered in it,
I can’t whistle,
I have never had a subscription to the New Yorker,
I still don’t know what the differences are between the types of beer or wine — like an IPA, or a shiraz, or all the different types of apples either,
I’ll nod and laugh even when someone says something I don’t hear, or understand, or know the reference to, and pray I don’t get caught,
I can’t sleep when sharing a bed with a romantic partner even though I’ve fallen asleep on a wooden table at a noisy bus station in Cambodia and many more odd places,
I can’t get myself to start something I am procrastinating doing unless the clock is on a multiple of 5, and preferably a multiple of 15,
I am happy and grateful that I’m single,
I regularly forget to put in prepositions when I’m writing and to catch my errors I still will have to print a document and edit using a red pen,
I take mood stabilizers everyday and may decide to for the rest of my life,
I get sad when people don’t compliment my artwork,
sometimes I envy the real property (homes) of rich people,
I am afraid of deer and geese.
Inside My Madness 